While Trent is out on site with a client, we Cool Jobsters get a peek at his workstation circa 2003...

At long last, after many months of  — well, let’s just call it “research” — Carrie, your intrepid guide to all things weird in the world of work, has resurfaced at “My Cool Job” to bring you an interview with Usability Tester and Web Designer Trent Faust.

I’ve known Trent since the 1980s, when David Lee Roth was the frontman for Van Halen, ATM cards and cellphones were new and exciting (and only us geeks had them), and our mothers all dressed us funny.

These days, Trent not only dresses himself, but in addition to his freelance work is a co-founder of the St. Pete Skeptics Society, which meets regularly in St. Petersburg, Florida to discuss claims of the paranormal, cutting edge science, and many other topics of interest to anyone with a skeptical view on things and a soft spot for pub grub.   If you’d like to learn more, are in the area and would like to join a discussion, or simply wish to discover what ‘skeptics’ actually talk about, click on over to the Society’s website and find out!

Of course, none of the above is telling you much about what a “Usability Tester” actually does (and I’ve been wanting to find out myself, which is usually why I ask someone interesting like Trent to tell me all about his Cool Job)….so let’s all find out together, shall we?

1)  When people ask you “what do you do?” how do you describe your job?

This reminds me of when I would get the stereotypical “what’s your major” question in college.  I got tired of trying to explain “astrophysics” to people at parties or the chick cutting my hair, so I started just answering “English” to bring an end to that line of questioning.

It’s sometimes similar with my current occupation.  Most of what I do is usability testing and troubleshooting for websites, though I also still do some web design as well.  But most people have no idea what usability testing is (I’m looking at you Microsoft), and it’s often just easier to say that I do web design.  I do have a background of several years in web design, and that allows me to take the results of usability tests and make specific recommendations to a client on how to address any issues that came up during testing.  Figuring how to deliver this information diplomatically is key; sometimes people on the client side have strongly vested interests in the current design.

Creating a usability test for a site involves setting up a group of tasks that a user will be asked to perform on a website.  These tasks need to be typical of what actual users of the site are using the site for, or typical of what the site’s owners want the site to be used for.  As the tester, your role is to observe; not to interact with the test subject at all; or worst of all to guide or offer suggestions to the test subject.  If you influence the subjects, your testing won’t be very useful; the site will continue to have usability problems; and word will get around that your work is crap.

Some professional test facilities have equipment to videotape the test session and to track exactly where on the monitor a user is looking at every moment during the test; I just record the test subjects’ choices on paper mockups of the webpages while encouraging them to think out loud about what they’re doing.  Testing with a few as half a dozen subjects can readily reveal a site’s most glaring stumbling blocks.

2) What are the things about your job that you love?

The best thing about working freelance is the freedom.  I choose when I work, and for whom I work.  I lay out the terms of the contract, and if those aren’t amenable to the client, I can walk away.  Of course you have to be flexible to keep a steady flow of work coming in, but I can draw the lines of what is acceptable to me in a deal.

Usability testing for websites is most effective when it’s done at a user’s computer in their own office or home, so that’s the sort of testing I do whenever practical.  It’s one of the best parts of the job, getting to work with people for about an hour in their own space and getting to know a little about them.  In contrast to web design, a successful usability tester has to have good people skills while at the same time being able to remain detached during the test.
While there’s a degree of artistic creativity in good web design, the easiest designs to use are generally very clean and simple, like Wikipedia or Google.  When a graphic designer runs amok, or a client wants a website that “looks cool” rather than focuses on being functional for the user, you get something like Disney.

3) What are the things about your job that you hate?

One of the downsides of working freelance is the lack of a steady level of work.  It often seems to be feast or famine.  Some weeks may be very slow, or even have no work at all.  Other weeks will be packed, with multiple clients pressing to meet deadlines.  If you don’t have the discipline to prioritize and keep clients updated in a timely fashion as to where their project stands, you won’t have to worry about working for very long.

Fortunately, one of the easiest ways to keep clients updated is via Twitter.  Simply create a group just for you and your client(s) on a particular job, and you’re all set to microblog status updates to them.  It’s much less time consuming and far more efficient than attempting to keep a client dialog going via lengthy emails.

Another business aspect of the job is contracts.  You need to be clear in negotiating a job so that both parties are very clear on what is going to be done and in what timeframe.  One of the most ubiquitous problems that designers (and to a lesser degree, usability testers) run into is “scope creep.”  It starts with a client asking you to just add one little task, and rapidly snowballs into far more work than you agreed to.  Without anything in writing or commensurate payment having been agreed upon, this is a trap you want dearly to avoid.  Fortunately, there are good standard contracts available on the Web for free download.  I don’t work without them.

4) What education, training, vocation or just plain luck would someone have to have in order to get a job like yours?

Web design is really still very much a learn-by-doing business.  While there are a plethora of books and courses now available, the quality varies widely.  For me it started in my advisor’s office in college.  One day in 1995 I discovered that there was an option in the Netscape browser to “view source code.”  It wasn’t difficult to figure most of it out on my own back then.

A rare glimpse of Trent showing off his "major award"

Now the technology has evolved so much that no one person has a complete grasp of all of the tools that are in play on the web.  Just maintaining a working knowledge requires a designer to pay attention to the new technologies.  Even if they can’t be well versed in all of them, a designer needs to at least know what they are and what they do.  Just drop by your friendly neighborhood bookstore once a month and thumb through the web design mags.  This way, when a client asks about them you don’t look like an idiot.

If you can swing the cash, I strongly recommend going to at least one usability conference.  Jakob Nielsen and Jared Spool are the top folks in the field; their conferences are top-notch.  These are also terrific places to network and to talk shop, and coincidentally, to meet cool people.

A couple of important tips for designers:

Test your designs in as many browsers as you can get your hands on.

Most of them (including the outdated versions) are free downloads, so there’s no good excuse not to do this.  It’ll save you the headache of having to redesign later because your client’s mom never upgraded from some ancient rev of Internet Explorer and your design looks like crap, or worse, simply doesn’t work, on her computer.

Learn how to write code.

Graphic interface page-design programs, like Dreamweaver, write decent code for you most of the time.  But when they don’t, if you don’t know anything about the code itself you won’t know how to fix any problems that crop up.  Not knowing code also limits your creativity to the capabilities of the software you’re using to write your code for you.

5) What is the funniest story you can think of that involves your professional training or your job?

Well it’s hard to go wrong with a good, old-fashioned, one-toothed hooker story.  Unfortunately I don’t have one, so this will have to do.

This was early on in my career, and it was a lesson for me in the need to be tactful.

I was working on constructing a usability test for a website that was an information repository for a program in a Federal science agency.  The test was requested by managers in that program, but not by the people who had produced the website.

Already on tricky ground.

There was a huge repository of information here; ranging all the way from raw field data to educational videos.  But the way it was organized was abysmal.  It all made sense to the designers of course; they built the thing and they knew where everything was.  But to anyone else, the organization of the information made no sense.  This is exactly the sort of issue that usability testing is supposed to address.

Unfortunately, any task I could create for a usability test was very nearly moot – it would fail immediately, followed by minutes of a test subject struggling pointlessly in mounting frustration.  While a well-constructed usability test places no time limit on a test subject completing a particular task, research has shown that in most cases if they can’t get there in the first five minutes, they aren’t going to get there at all.

Watching a test subject wrestle with banging their head against the wall, while a necessary part of the job, isn’t particularly useful to anyone if you already *know* that’s what’s going to happen and why it will happen.

So, boneheadedly, in a conference call with the site designers, I bluntly pointed this out.  And there was a single example that clearly summed things up.  The site had a tab on the homepage labeled “Data.”  And indeed, there were mountains of digital data on the site.  But here’s the kicker – the way the site was organized, it was impossible to get to the data through the tab labeled “Data.”

I pointed this out – in overly direct language, and in an exasperated tone.

”You have a ‘Data’ tab, from which you cannot actually get to any data!”

As a professional, I strongly recommend avoiding such ill-considered choices of word or tone.  Things tend not to go well after that.

Carrie: Your Wayward Guide to Cool Jobs

Howdy folks, and welcome back to “My Cool Job” which has been on hiatus for some months now.

It’s funny how many times I have mentioned this blog to people in the last few months…and yet it is only in the last few days that I’ve come to realize:

a) How long it’s been since I posted anything, and how much I miss the fun of finding my interviewees and learning more about them;

b) How much I miss my WordPress pals:  for a while now I’ve spent more time in ‘real life’ than online, but it seems that I need the creative outlet that this blog provides and the awesome interactions that come from it.  Having a few of you peeps on Facebook just doesn’t seem to satisfy so I’ll humbly ask you to let me back into the blogosphere; and

c) I’ve committed a faux pas of the highest order by wheedling a dear friend into providing an interview, which somehow never got published, and it’s time to make that right!

Hopefully, all of the above will be corrected within the next 24 hours when the secret of what a ‘Usability Tester’ actually does is revealed in detail…

Stay tuned and tell me you missed me.  I have certainly missed all of you!

According to my research, the 2008 election had the highest voter turnout as a percentage of the voting age population since 1968.

132,618,580 voters arrived at the polls and one of the many, many hardworking people responsible for that historic voter turnout last November was today’s Cool Jobster, Political Organizer Mary McClelland who works for Rock  the Vote.

If you’re looking to turn off your computer and go home at 5pm every night, then working in the field to organize voter registration may not be the Cool Job for you.   However, if you have a passion for politics and think it is especially important to help young people become active in the voting process then you’ll not only enjoy today’s interview — you may just stop by at Rock the Vote and ask what you can do to get involved!

With a presidential inauguration just days away, the timing couldn’t have been better for a peek  behind the scenes at the type of effort and dedication it took to actually “rock” the vote.    Thanks for being today’s Cool Jobster, Mary!

When people ask you “what do you do?” how do you describe your job?

I work for Rock the Vote which is an organization who’s mission is to engage and build the political power of young people.  We use music, pop culture and new technologies to bring (and keep) them in the process.  My official title is ‘Deputy Political Director for Field Operations’ at Rock the Vote or as I lovingly refer to as the DPDFO (pronounced ‘dipped-fo’) – but rarely use that title as in my tenure here I’ve seen the organization grow from 4 people to 20 in the midst of the insanity that was the ’08 election, so my role and responsibilities shifted constantly.  In my day-to-day I oversee our field operations which means in election years I organize large scale voter registration and get-out-the-vote efforts and work with our volunteer base around the country.  Within that there is a lot of partnership work with other political organizations as well as implementing new technologies in our effort to organize 18-29 year olds in the political process.  Now that the presidential election is over we are shifting our focus to issue advocacy to make sure the issues we care about get implemented.

What are the things about your job that you love?

I love the ability to be creative and implement new ideas – we have to break through the clutter to reach a younger audience and we can’t be boring.  I love thinking about how to use new technologies to politicize people. The partnerships can be hilarious everything from WWE (yes, the wrestlers) to NFL players to actors and musicians.  And of course the added bonus is I get to go to a lot of concerts for ‘work’.  There are worse things than having to go to South by Southwest and having an all-access pass or having the Beastie Boys perform at your Inauguration party.

What are the things about your job that you hate?

Rock the Vote has been around for 19 years and is a name that people have usually heard of (I was actually caught off guard recently when a younger person hadn’t heard of us – a nice lesson) – with that comes some unrealistic expectations.  Many people believe we are an arm of MTV but we actually have always been an independent, non-profit, non-partisan organization with a limited budget – I constantly have to say no to people who think we are flush with cash or expect some merchandise or staff to attend their event.  At our peak in the election year we had 20 people to run a program that registered over 2 million people and implemented huge programs so the strain on resources is constant.

What education, training, vocation or just plain luck would someone have to have in order to get a job like yours?

For me it was luck and a passion for the issues.  I have a B.A. in English Literature which does not scream political organizer but when I graduated I ended up with a position in California working for an environmental organization, when I moved to DC a few years later I stayed in the political field working for a non-profit that focused on campaign finance reform.  Once you are in the DC political community it becomes quite small and through various networks you are able to work for different organizations on different issues.  I ended up working for a group called Young Voter Strategies in the ’06 election cycle and coming out of that the two organizations decided to integrate to add a political and research departments to Rock the Vote – I was in the right place at the right time and feel incredibly lucky.

For someone who would like to get into politics there are so many opportunities to get involved in campaigns if you are willing to start towards the bottom.  There are many organizations that train organizers and give you entry into the political sphere – even volunteering with a campaign to learn the ropes could score a position.  The type of degree you have is not as important as the type of passion and work ethic you have – these are not 9-5 positions and most likely don’t pay very well, but you can go home at the end of the day and feel like you did something.

What is the funniest story you can think of that involves your professional training or your job?

There are so many it’s hard to pick just one!  There could be the time where I went to the Baltimore Raven’s training facilities to register their players to vote or the time I ended up driving around Jack Johnson through the city of Richmond talking about environmentally friendly burial processes or getting mobbed at a festival in Venice Beach doing voter registration with WWE wrestlers or being a part of ringing the opening bell at NASDAQ on Super Tuesday.  A seriously crazy year.

I know I promised a video interview, and I assure you that it’s in the works, but technical difficulties with camera and software have set me back.   I think I’ve got the camera, the software and the PC all playing nice together at last so you should see my video interview debut by the end of next week.

In the meantime….of course you can always stop by Carrie Like the Movie and see what subject I’ve become addicted to knowing all about lately.  This week’s theme is dance in all of its many forms — go ahead and check it out (you know you want to…)!

Todra Payne, Makeup Artist

Today’s Cool Jobster arrives via my Twitter feed (you do have a Twitter feed, don’t you?) When someone new starts following me on Twitter, I always take the time to check out the follower’s home page and see what he or she is all about, and in the case of Makeup Artist Todra Payne I’m glad I did and I’m happy she agreed to be interviewed for My Cool Job today!

I must say right up front that I’m not a “can’t leave the house without my face on” makeup wearer these days, although I suspect I did severely impact the world’s supply of black eyeliner back in my teens and early twenties (see photos of Joan Jett circa 1985 and you’ll get the idea). I’ve never had much of a knack for applying makeup to my face, but I have been lucky enough to have been “done” by a professional makeup artist a time or two and I’ve always been blown away by what a huge change in my look and my attitude a small amount of mysterious “goo” makes when applied by someone with experience, artistry, and a passion for helping people to feel good about themselves.

Todra Payne is certainly one of those people with a passion for what they do, whether she is conducting a teaching seminar for company employees on how to look their best, working one on one with a spaz like me that can’t figure out the difference between a bronzer and a brow pencil, or glamming up celebrities and models for a magazine photo shoot.

So is being a Makeup Artist as glamorous and exciting as they make it look on the reality show “Blush” (and am I the only one that wants to drown contestant Maxi in a vat of foundation)? Let’s find out from today’s Cool Jobster, Todra Payne…

When people ask you “what do you do?” how do you describe your job?

I usually say, “I’m a displaced celebrity makeup artist.” When I lived in NYC, I worked with celebrities, top models, and skinny, rich women who were always “on the scene” – the ones who don’t actually do anything, but are always photographed by the media for being fabulous. Now I work a lot with “regular” women (and men) – people like myself – who want to learn how to bring out their best look, but don’t have $1,000 to pay for a makeup session (this part is a slight drawback). These days I feel more like an educator than a makeup artist because I conduct a lot of teaching seminars – from bridal parties to employee image consulting. I also do makeup for corporate videos, television commercials for big box stores and the occasional makeup and wardrobe styling for product catalogs.

What are the things about your job that you love?

When I was working in NYC, my job took me to places like Iceland for shoots with Elle Magazine. I received free designer clothes, makeup, etc. And my name was always in the magazines. That was a blast. Today, I live in a small city and don’t travel as much, and no one’s beating down my door to give me free clothes and makeup (darn!). But my job makes me really happy, even without the “perks”. I enjoy the raw elements of my job – making people look and feel better about their personal and professional image. I love how my job allows me to be creative and free-spirited with my talents and my time. I thank God every day that I don’t have to show up in an office.

What are the things about your job that you hate?

Without the contacts and cache of a New York City agent working on my behalf, I have to drum up my own business. For years I’d flutter around the city, shopping and “doing lunch” with friends while someone else made marketing calls, sent out my portfolio to clients and made sure my airline tickets were for the correct locations. From where I stood, work just magically appeared. Trust me, when you work for yourself, nothing magically appears. I put in sweat equity to let people know what I do and how it will benefit them. I don’t like balancing the artist side with the business side so much, but it’s a necessity.

What education, training, vocation or just plain luck would someone have to have in order to get a job like yours?

Well, getting an esthetician’s license helps in order to get your foot in most doors. But the creative part really doesn’t come from a cosmetology school (trust me on this on). An aspiring makeup artist needs to be around an established, working makeup artist to pick up techniques AND people skills fast. Of course, it depends a lot on what type of jobs the new artist is hoping to get. Salon work is a pretty easy, well-mapped out road. Not too hard to get one of those jobs if you have the schooling. But to move to the big time – Los Angeles or New York – to work in fashion or entertainment takes a lot of skill, networking and great personal style! Seriously. Everyone looks at what you’re wearing when you are working with the biggies.

And getting a great agent is golden. Nothing pushes you into the big leagues faster. Call agents and ask to assist their established artists. Do it for free if you can afford to for a little while. It’ll pay off in the end. Warning: Here comes a shameful self-endorsement! Another way to get insider information is to buy the book I co-authored, Fabjob Guide to Become a Makeup Artist. It covers everything from putting together your first portfolio to getting into the unions.

What is the funniest story you can think of that involves your professional training or your job?
When I was newbie assisting legendary makeup artist, Brigitte Reiss-Andersen, I was always a little nervous. She taught me a lot, but she was a very no-nonsense sort of person, kept me on my toes. And she spoke French. I’ve always been intimidated by chic, French-speaking women. Brigitte and I were on a shoot with German GQ. The model, the crew, heck, the photographer were incredibly beautiful. They all knew each other and chatted effortlessly in several languages. I was so out of my league, but I told myself I could just blend into the walls because it was Brigitte’s job. I was just there to clean brushes and make store runs.

Well, mid-shoot, Brigitte had to dash off to another client. She turned to me and said, “I’m leaving you to take it from here. Make sure the model doesn’t get shiny.” Before I could fully panic, Brigitte had thrown her kisses and was out the door. I broke into a cold sweat. I’d watched her call out, “Going in!” and the entire studio came to a halt while Brigitte walked on set to powder the model. I didn’t have that sort of nerve. But then I didn’t want the magazine to hit the stands with a shiny-nosed model, either. There would be hell to pay. I weakly stood on the sidelines willing the model’s nose not to shine. And then I got my chance. The photographer had to take a bathroom break. When he sat down his camera, the rest of the crew scattered as well. I grabbed my powder brush and lunged on set for the model’s nose. In my excitement, I lost my balance. The model, a very sweet girl who weighed all of 90 pounds, reached out to grab me. We both went tumbling into the backdrop, which was a very heavy black curtain hung from the ceiling and stuck to a wall. With the swoop of the fabric neither of us could get out of the curtain. We just sort of rolled around each other, arms and legs flailing.

When the photographer returned, he simply stared at me for a moment. I wanted to cry I was so scared. He burst into laughter before coming over and helping us. At the time I was sure I’d die from the experience. Now, I laugh at how serious I thought it all was.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  See you next week!

P.S.  As always, if you’re looking for something silly while I look for more cool jobs, stop by Carrie (Like the Movie) and have a little holiday fun, Carrie style!

I would hate for you all to despair of me not putting up a post at all until I have my technical difficulties sorted out (which could be a few more days and involve much hair-pulling on my part), so I’m going to take a cue from my other blog and just post an awesome music video….and since the word “working” is in the title, I feel that this is the place to post it.

“Mature” readers please cast your minds back to 1981 when no one had ever heard anything like Devo before and relive the original mind-blowing that you got when you first heard it. “Youthful” readers will be amazed to learn that Mark Mothersbaugh, the lead singer of this very silly (and very ground-breaking!) band went on to write the theme song and show music for “Rugrats”, “Clifford the Big Red Dog”, and even “The Sims 2” game!

But enough random facts already…close the door, turn up the speakers, and dance your butt off to Devo’s amazing version of the 1966 classic “Working in the Coal Mine“:

I promise to keep you posted on my progress with the new camcorder, and as always, if you get here and don’t see a new post, check out my other, much more silly blog for the latest!

Meet my new baby, arriving next week via UPS!

Hello readers!

I know it’s been a few days since I last posted a Cool Job, but I’ve got a project in the works that I hope will be worth the wait. I’m going to combine my new cinematic “skillz” with my love of cool jobs and if all goes according to plan, in a few days you should be able to WATCH the next Cool Jobster answer the interview questions right here!

Please be patient, and while you wait for this new chapter in MCJ history to begin, you can check out The Complete Cool Job List above, or just click on over to Carrie (Like the Movie) where you can watch a few videos and have a little fun! I’ll keep you posted on my progress with the movie: Step One is waiting for my fancy schmancy new video camera to arrive, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to sit by the mailbox!

“Hey, Jimsmuse!” you’re saying to yourself after reading the job title above, “Didn’t you already feature this cool job when you interviewed Douglas Dunn who works with English and American Sign Language?”   Interestingly, and lucky for me as your guide to the world of work, the answer is no.   Although many people use the words “interpreter” and “translator” interchangeably, to those who work in the field they are very different occupations.

An Interpeter is someone who provides live, spoken communication between people who speak different languages, and a Translator provides that communication through the written word.   Today’s Cool Jobster, French to English Translator Céline Graciet, has even written a blog post on this very subject, which makes clear not only the difference between the two jobs, but her preference for translation!

I love the English language and have always been a “word freak”, but didn’t become interested in the subject of translation until I read Douglas Hofstadter’s incredible book Le Ton Beau De Marot: In Praise of the Music of Language.   While the main text of the book deals philosophically with what constitutes a “good” translation between two languages (or if a “good” translation is even possible), he also explores some of the most challenging translations ever attempted and the thinking and creativity that went into them.

For example, Hofstadter spends quite some time considering the translation of “La Disparition” by Georges Perec, a novel written in French that does not contain a single use of the letter  “e”.   What is the “right” way, Hofstader wonders, to translate this novel into English?   Would a literal, word for word translation into English (which would surely contain many instances of the letter “e”) be the best way to convey the original author’s work to English speaking readers?  Or should a translator be willing to change a word, a sentence, or even an entire paragraph in order to render the work into English without the letter “e” so that readers of the translation will experience in some way the original author’s intent?  (In fact, translator George Adair made the latter choice, and won a prestigious award for his translation of Perec’s novel, entitled “A Void“.)    ‘

I’ll grant you that the above is a very extreme example of the challenge a translator might face, but if you’ve never really stopped to consider how much creativity and consideration goes into even the simplest of translations, or how many choices a professional translator faces, I hope it’s at least got you thinking!

While literary translations of famous novels may be what we avid readers usually think of when presented with the word “translation”, in a world that’s gone “international”, there are thousands of people who write documents in hundreds of different languages that require translation into many hundreds of other languages so that the transmission of ideas can take place without all of us having to learn and speak dozens of languages.

I’m glad that I didn’t have to learn French to read “A Void” and enjoy its eerie weirdness, and I’m glad that there are Cool Jobsters like Céline to foster communication between people via the written word — including writing subtitles for everything from episodes of “The Simspons” to the movie “Shaun of the Dead” and if doing that doesn’t qualify as her as a Cool Jobster,  I don’t know what does.  You can check out more of Céline’s interesting translating jobs here.

So what’s the work of a Translator like?  Let’s find out!

1) When people ask you “what do you do?” how do you describe your job?

I say “I’m a freelance English to French translator”, which is as simple as it sounds: I get sent documents in English and I have to send them back in French. If I’m in a talkative mood, I’ll go on about some of the interesting projects I’ve worked on or some of the things I’ve learnt through my job. From translating dozens of device manuals over the years, I can troubleshoot most printer/scanner/copier problems; from translating magazines on bodybuilding, I can tell you what exercice will give you the perfect calves and I know way too much about the workings of testosterone in men; from my work for NGOs, I have a pretty good idea of the problems linked to aid in the developing world and from my work with local authorities, I could probably design a comprehensive waste management strategy for a small country. I’ve also been on interpreting assignments in a helicopter, on landfill sites and on a boat shaped like a big sausage.

2) What are the things about your job that you love?

I really love translating. I’ve been doing it for 8 years and I just can’t get bored of it. I’ve often been asked why I offer translation services in just one language pair, when I could be opening up my client base and earn more by teaming up with translators working with other languages. My problem with that is that it would mean cutting down on my translation work to take on more project management-type work, and I don’t want to do that. I want to translate all day long! I don’t really have any greater ambition than that.

The other thing I love is that to me, a computer has always been a big toy and I still can’t believe I’m allowed to play on it all day. I love being constantly online and in touch with the news, my friends and family and with everything that’s happening out there. And of course, being my own boss, nobody will tell me off for playing Scrabble with my friend in America or checking my favourite blogs.

3) What are the things about your job that you hate?

I spent the first four years of my career working from home and after three years, I started really hating it. I felt completely isolated, cut off from the rest of society and going on translators’ forums for a chat just wasn’t the same as being in the actual presence of another human being. I felt like the world was going on without me and I found the silence of my own flat rather oppressive. Eventually, I found a shared office, moved in and was extremely happy there for 3 years: I made some excellent friends and my work clearly benefited. When I moved town, my first concern was to find a football team, then a new shared office.

That’s about the only thing I hate(d). I sometimes worry that my clients will all stop calling me, but I don’t think any job is 100% safe. Actually, being the Pope is quite safe, but there’s no opening at the moment.

4) What education, training, vocation or just plain luck would someone have to have in order to get a job like yours?

The funny thing about my job is that anyone at all can call themselves a translator. Nobody will come and check that you are actually qualified because there is no official body that grants the “translator” title. I would say the main qualifications you need are an in-depth, near-native knowledge of your working languages (certainly a native knowledge of your target language) and of the cultures to which they belong, excellent written skills and a capacity to research and learn very quickly, as you might not be a specialist in all the areas covered by the documents you’ll be asked to translate. You have to be self-confident, self-reliable, organised and resilient. These clients don’t find themselves!

5) What is the funniest story you can think of that involves your professional training or your job?

Hm. I’m not saying translators aren’t a bundle of laughs, but I can’t really think of anything really funny that has happened during my work (if you exclude some of my ex-co-workers’ “hilarious pranks”, of course; calling my phone just as I’m on my way up to the toilet, causing me to sprint back to my desk, nearly falling over chairs and small dogs, only to hear them say “Just wanted to say hello” at the end of the line, is NOT that funny).

However, the latest funny translation mishap I’ve seen is as follows:

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: “I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated”.

So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket.